|Toy Story 3. Dir. Lee Unkrich. Disney Pixar, 2010. Film|
How's it going?
I've found myself back here now.
Yes, I've been MIA... It's been a TOUGH couple of months. Actually, it's been a tough year with great ups and downs. When I think back to last August and the changes that were coming my way, I had such hope: awesome travel on the horizon, a new job with new people, opportunities and, undoubtedly, challenges, but ultimately: shiny new-ness in all aspects of life to embrace.
I felt guilty when I posted in early December, 2012 (one of my last "real" posts) about not having posted regularly for a few months. At that point, the awesome travel was over (and it was indeed awesome), but the new-ness of everything else plus diabetes was a tad much to handle and write about at the same time. All the same, I felt like like I had let the DOC/blogging community/friends and family down by needing some space. Martin, fellow librarian and d-blogger helped remind me at the time that everyone needs some space from blogging once in a while. (Thanks, Martin! Now, go read his blog, Diabetically Speaking. It's awesome. Did I mention we share a career, too?)
Then, to be blunt, shit really hit the fan later in December and January. Health issues (read: a miscarriage, and [understandable] subsequent stress and depression from the miscarriage...) and a remarkably sour job situation (which became sour due in part to both the attention I needed to give my health and due to the blog post from early December- so much for advocacy and understanding), caused me to retreat. Blog-wise, I curled up into a little ball, and have been hibernating. To recap, I wrote a post for Kerri and Six Until Me about miscarriage and diabetes, and then one post monthly for Glu (please do check out this awesome community) in December (about stress), January (about resolutions), February (about the long winter) and March (about travel and emotions with diabetes), and then really needed a break. I needed quiet; time to focus on a better work situation, time to regain my strength both mentally and physically, and time to collect my thoughts and muster my courage to get back into the bloggy world.
I've mustered up that courage. And, I'm in a much better place-- work-wise, health-wise, and general happiness-wise than I have been in a while.
Oh, and right, I guess I should spill the beans: I'm pregnant! Like, 20 weeks pregnant today! With a boy. Not that we wanted a girl, but we just kind of expected it would be-- we had this... feeling. Turns out our intuition/premonition or whateveryouwanttocallit was 100% wrong, and we are psyched to meet this little TRex (what we nicknamed him because of his little arms buds on early ultrasounds) come early January. (Or, maybe it will be late December... we'll see how long the doctor's "let me go." I'll save that for another post.)
One thing I realized after the miscarriage and subsequent icky job situation is that life is short, and you might as well make it good and live it up. Though we could have waited to "try again" (we have the luxury of being young and healthy), we thought to ourselves, "Why the hell not just go for it?" And, so, fertile-Myrtle over here and The Hub are now celebrating. (... And panicking. We're becoming parents. What?!) As y'all know, diabetes and pregnancy comes with it's challenges like whoa. (Side note: as of today, things are looking great.) For these reasons, it feels good to be back and sharing and gathering info and connecting with folks in the bloggy world yet again. I've written two pregnancy posts for Glu (no. 1 and no. 2), and will try to keep things up here, too. (Oh, and so you have it, here's another Glu post from July about asking for help, especially when it comes to diabetes.)
I'll keep this short, and just say thank you to the friends who noted last week and this week that they missed me, and to Glu for hosting and supporting my writing. It's nice to be reminded after such a crappy time that people appreciate my bloggy voice, and want to share and connect with me, too. I raise my glass of seltzer (man, I miss wine) to you! (And, TRex thanks you, too-- he's fluttering away in there at the moment.)
It's so nice now to look back, and realize just how true this is: it all really is getting better all the time, no matter how crappy you think it all is in the moment. Life helps you learn so much. Thanks, John, Paul, George and Ringo, and to everyone who has helped me see that!
|The Beatles. Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band. Capitol Records, 1967. LP.|